Are you experiencing phenomena that is unsettling, disturbing, and sometimes frightening? Are you hearing strange noises? Seeing lights? Appliances turning on and off? Objects moving? The sense of being touched?
When we are confronted with things that are “out of the ordinary,” we are often filled with a sense of dread. The mysterious invites a multitude of questions, colored with the emotions we are experiencing in the face of such strange occurrences. When we automatically react in fear to something we do not know or understand, it can wreak havoc on our bodies and imaginations. “Am I losing my mind?” “Is there something in my house besides me and my family?” “Is something out to get me?” The terror points to our most basic need: safety. The fear can be mild to severe – scattered nerves, losing several nights of sleep and becoming physically ill, to driving one completely out of the house.
Thanks to Hollywood and the slough of “ghost hunting” shows on television, not to mention the times in our youth of listening to spooky stories around the campfire, we have been taught that strange occurrences are to be met with nothing more than fear. Yet after having been investigating ghosts for several years, I have come to realize the “strange” isn’t meant to be fearful – nor are the spirits really trying to scare you.
When it comes to ghosts, dramatic re-enactments have created an illusion about just what the nature of the supernatural is like and “what they’re up to.” It goes like this: If you hear a strange noise but cannot find what is creating it and it defies explanation – something unseen is trying to torment you. If you see strange balls of lightning when there should be no atmospheric disturbance – something unseen is trying to alarm you. If electrical appliances are experiencing strange anomalies (and you’re sure it’s not the wiring) – then something unseen is trying to toy with you. If objects are moving of their own accord – something unseen is definitely trying to scare the bejeezus out of you.
Well, actually no – not necessarily. Something (or rather someone) may definitely be interested in getting your attention, but may not have any motive whatsoever in trying to make you scream.
What ghost stories and Hollywood forget is that a ghost is still a person. That is, they still have a mind, emotions, desires, and even their own fears (Yes, ghosts have fears, too). In performing all the unusual acts, they may be trying to tell you something that has nothing to do with the dreaded demand “Get out!” And if conditions are persisting, chances are they are feeling that their message isn’t being heard or understood. Maybe because the fear you’re experiencing is getting in the way.
In succumbing to fear, we keep ourselves imprisoned and unable to move through such emotion to discover what is truly waiting on the other side of it. Unfortunately, we also have this notion that what is on the other side might not be so pleasant, especially when it comes to ghosts. This is why I remind everyone that ghosts are still people -- and should be honored and respected AS people, and treated with the same type of courtesy and respect as a neighbor.
Let’s face it, most people in the act of communication are not doing it from a standpoint of tormenting, scaring, or playing practical jokes. They have something important to say – and when it comes to energetic barriers between the “spirit world” and the “earthly realm,” the amount of energy consumed by a ghost to push a message from there to here is actually quite draining. Why waste it to scare someone? In the majority of cases I’ve investigated, the spirit had no intention whatsoever of frightening anybody, but had everything to do with some other type of conversation. Unfortunately, when fear and panic become the standard mode of response, we block any ability to determine what the message is really about.
Also, it’s not an “us versus them” communication – another great take-away from good campfire ghost stories and Hollywood horror fests. The majority of haunting phenomena is not meant to pit the living against the dead (or even the dead against the living), but rather is an attempt to initiate communication for the purpose of passing some kind of relevant information. Repeated occurrences reveals that the message is not being clearly received, and so the spirit feels it has to make several attempts (and in different ways) until what it needs to say can be properly understood.
Most people feel they are powerless in the face of an invisible adversary – who apparently can do things without advanced notice that leave one frightened. What we must realize is that a ghost is not an adversary, it is a person who wants to say something, but knows some kind of barrier exists to where its voice is not being heard. Indeed, in that moment of seeing lights, hearing something strange, or seeing something move, there is an initial reaction of surprise and fear … But then we should realize: we don’t really know what the motive was for such an event.
At this point, I would invite you to let go of the fear and get curious. Chalk the event off as a need to get your attention – but your attention to what?
Instead of frightening you, a ghost may have these motives:
* Asking for your help. You may have displayed certain knowledge, wisdom, or other skills that the spirit feels can help them through their own dilemmas. Yes, spirits do have personal problems, just like everyone else. Instead of running away in fear, ask “Is there something I can do to help you?” There are many ways to initiate a “yes/no” type of communication to find answers (such as knocks, spinning rods, or certain EMF meters). Sometimes, spirits aren’t aware they have died, only that something about them has changed – and they might be trying to ask you for help in figuring things out.
* Trying to help you. If you are new to the house/dwelling, as “uncool” and “unfrightening” as it sounds, a ghost may be trying to warn you of danger with the structure. Bad wiring, bad pipes, watch your foot at the end of the stairs … We have been schooled to think that ghosts want to harm us, yet they sometimes are concerned with the exact opposite – they want to keep us safe and help us, too.
* Trying to tell you they are angry and don’t like what you’re doing. Yes, sometimes the phenomena is because the spirits are angry. This happens typically as a result of remodeling an old home. During the construction process, the energy of the environment is being radically changed; and a spirit is more keenly aware of subtle energy vibrations than we are. Reassuring them that even though the structure is changing, the changes are not meant to adversely affect them or drive them out and that they will be all right can make a big difference. Not only are you acknowledging their feelings about what’s happening, you’re also telling them they will still be okay. Moreover, you’re also remaining in your own power by telling them the house is now under your ownership. You’re not bowing down to them or letting them think they can push you around – but you are being sensitive to their own dislikes and potential fears in kindness (they may not know what the new energy configuration of the remodeling might mean to them and how it affects their energy).
* Misunderstanding what’s really happening (and in some cases, you haven’t cleared things up yet.) What do I mean? I had a frightened young lady tell me she had the spirit of a young girl attached to her who kept calling her “mommy.” I asked if she had explained to the ghost that she wasn’t really her mommy and it was a case of mistaken identity, and she said “no.” Sometimes spirits DO make mistakes and if we’re not willing to let them know it, we cannot expect them to change their behavior. Like anybody, a spirit may have the wrong perception of what is happening around them and you may need to clear things up.
The life of an earthbound spirit can be confusing. Just because someone has died does not give them special knowledge about what has happened to them or the nature of the universe (In fact, their perceptions about the universe may be even more mixed up than before they passed). This can leave them groping for help, answers, and some kind of assistance.
Why do they remain behind? Here is a short list:
* They haven’t realized they’ve died, but are aware that something is different.
* They are too afraid to move on, for fear of being judged.
* They are too emotionally attached to an environment, object, or person. (This attachment may be joyful or painful).
* They confuse an attachment to something in the present with something they were attached to in the past, without realizing they are not one and the same.
Whatever the case, a ghost is still a person, who – like most of us – is trying to live each day to the best of their ability in the only ways they know how (in what may be a confusing and chaotic environment). They have varying beliefs, emotions, and attitudes like the rest of us. And just like the rest of us, they are mostly interested in meaningful communication with heartfelt purpose – not the kind to send you vacating the property with more gray hairs than what you came in with.
Unless the spirits are doing things to deliberately hurt you, such as pushing you down the stairs, lighting things on fire, or other things that are clearly meant to harm your person or put your life in jeopardy – do not assume they are out to frighten you. Assume they are people, and then figure out on a person-to-person level what it is they are really trying to say. If you’re willing to pay attention and get passed the fear, you might be amazed by what you will learn. Your ability to assist and communicate with another human being may go way beyond what you thought was possible. *********